Raven Symone Tries It Again!

Raven, even though your Akuna Matata built ass resembles Timone and Pumba, rest assured that you WILL have worries for the rest of your days. Increasing your level of intelligence would be the only ‘problem free philosophy’ at this moment in time.

The fact that you got your croc-wearing, dry-dread-swinging, race and sexuality-denying ass on TV to come for another woman’s fashion and class has completely baffled me. You also were bold enough to claim that women in the industry need to put on more clothes while performing and yet you had the audacity to walk out in public with knee high socks, sandals, and pussy-juice-stained black spandex short shorts. You have the nerve to say that women need to be more classy when I’m sure you’d say nothing if men were onstage gyrating their oiled-up abs. You have subscribed to patriarchy and cannot even see it, pterodactyl.

You went on to insult the intelligence of the audience and audiences around the country by suggesting that Janet Jackson was less sexual than Beyonce. Janet Jackson, the Great and Mighty Whisperer: who took fans on stage to grope their genitals and essentially had sex with them while clothed. Janet Jackson who basically simulated herself climaxing in her song Would You Mind. You are as confused about your origin as you are about the words that escape your clit-embracing lips. Where are all your complaints about male stars being sexual and ‘too exposed?’ You want to be accepted by mainstream so badly that you allow misogyny and racism to take root in your body adjacent to those damaged genetics.

Are women supposed to sew up their vaginas after they become mothers? Are they supposed to be asexual beings while men are out here wagging their dicks for public approval? Are women supposed to hide the body that was given to them by God? Just because you are built like a Uhaul truck doesn’t mean that others have to wear burqas. I cant stand BBBs. Bad Bodied Bitches are always trying to ruin the fun for other women who had a little less doughnuts and a little more exercise.

I’ve said this before, but you’re built like Polly Want a Cracker. How is your nose sharper than any of your arguments? You’re built like Big Bird’s long lost cousin who was held back three or four grades. I’m sick of you being down on LGBT, women, and blacks. You see someone winning or being confident in who they are and the first thing you want to do is tear them down.

Raven, by the way, learn how to pronounce Beyhive. It’s Bey. Not Bay. And I know that Hooked On Phonics might not have worked for you because otherwise you would not be out here calling countries continents…but at least try, Jack-O-Lantern.

You essentially came at all women in the pop industry saying that they needed to wear pants but what I need you to wear is a defibrillator so I can shock all of your vital organs back to full use. The next time you feel the need to open your mouth against other women who are shitting on the game, examine your own life first. The women that you come at aren’t afraid of telling the world who they love. These women aren’t afraid of embracing their backgrounds, origins, and cultures. These women aren’t afraid of using their voices, talents, AND BODIES to make money and make artistic statements.

Sexuality is a part of life, as is art, as is love, as is hatred, as is pain. Why are you so afraid of that one thing? If you are missing any element of life, art cannot truly reflect life fully. (And I’m not stupid, I know that sex also sells).

I want you to think about this the next time that you tell someone that you’re from every continent within one continent. Remember that if Beyonce weighed as much as your IQ points that she’d be suffering from severe anorexia. Since she doesn’t have a body image problem, she can choose to show her assets off any way that she and her 500 million dollars see fit.